NO ROOM IN A HOME should be more important to a couple than their bedroom. Disarray in the master bedroom has more impact on family life, on peace and harmony, on love and respect, and on a relationship than it does in any other room.

Flat spaces are the first battlefield you lose in the war with your stuff.

When you can’t let your stuff go, your stuff won’t let you move forward.

Lots of kitchens have a “catch-all” drawer. What’s in here? It’s always a surprise. Soy sauce packets from carryout, rubber bands, pennies, matches, pushpins, a stray refrigerator magnet. I’m only going to say this once: No. Junk. Drawer. Do I make myself clear?

More than a marketplace to sell used goods, eBay is one of the best reality checks out there when you’re having trouble letting go of something because you think it’s worth a lot of money. Going on to eBay tells you exactly what your possessions are worth on the open market. If that “valuable” figurine you inherited from your grandmother is selling for $9.99 on eBay, then it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.

Not sure what you use and what you don’t? Here is a tried and true way to find out. Empty the contents of your kitchen utensil drawers into a cardboard box. For one month, only put a utensil back into the drawer if you take it out of the box to use it. At the end of the month seriously consider discarding everything that’s still in the cardboard box. Face it: If it’s still in the box after four weeks, you don’t need it!

Keeping flat surfaces clear is perhaps the single most important thing to keep in mind for your kitchen – as it is for any room in the house. A clear countertop makes any kitchen look more organized. Once the flat surfaces start to disappear under clutter, you lose your motivation to keep the area organized and you open the area to attracting more dust and dirt, further compounding the clutter problem. Consider flat surfaces your preparation area – not your storage area!

Don’t let your stuff be a battlefield for your relationships. Instead of focusing on whose mess it is, think of it as a group problem that you’re going to solve together. Don’t use words like “yours” and “mine.” Talk about the clutter and challenges surrounding it as “ours.

When clutter is sentimental, you need to figure out two things: first, how to separate the memory from the item, and second, how to preserve the memory in a way that honors and respects it. This process takes the power away from the object in a way that is really liberating and enables you to live your life without the sense of fear and worry of future loss.

Your home is within your control. It should be the place where you escape all negative forces in the world. Your home should be the antidote to stress, not the cause.